The trouble a lot of introductions run into is they start with such a wide scope, talking about the universe in the broadest of strokes, that there's no way for potential players to hook themselves in. I know you said not to mention Star Wars, but seriously look at how the movies themselves did it. You start with the screen crawl "LONG LONG AGO IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY" which, y'know, is about as broad as you can get but very quickly you're drawn into the story because the characters are instantly relatable, and you're not lost still in gobs of explanatory things.
I hope that makes sense. One of the greatest ways to get exposition out is to involve the reader. I remember a sci-fi RP once on another board where the GM spoke to potential readers as though they were late to a classroom session where their potential mission was being outlined. Having a fantasy opening being told as a "sonnet" by a minstrel by a fire.
Implying exposition through dialogue, or having brief narrative moments explain things is also an option. Showing the reader a shrine to a deity and how it has cracked and been overgrown with time speaks volumes of a country leaving its roots behind more than just telling us about it.
As I say, character is compass. Making the exposition so that the reader feels like they're a part of the story right away rather than waiting for the broad-as-the-sky opener down to finally, finally, why they decided to read through all the pages is the way to go.
I once read a hunk of "this is our world!" extra-IC nonsense that got as detailed as to tell potential players how people blow their nose in the country. That's not okay.
As unorganized as I am, I sure hope you got something outta that.
-VV
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